Your Secret's Safe With Me Page 16
‘God, he didn’t do anything to you, did he? I mean, try anything on?’
It was actually quite pleasing to see the look of concern on Nick’s face. ‘Let’s talk about something else,’ I suggested. ‘Are you able to look something up for me on your police database?’
‘What makes you think I have access to the police database?’
‘Well, you’re something to do with the police still, aren’t you? And even if you’re not, you must have friends who are still in the force.’
‘They’re not a public information service.’ Nick replied.
‘I want to find someone.’
‘Oh, we all want to find someone, Rebecca,’ Nick’s voice softened. His hazel eyes were watching me intently. It was an old familiar look. I was determined not to fall for it.
‘I’m being serious. It’s not for me, it’s for his mother. There’s a chance this guy might be in the police force on the Isle of Wight. I’ve tried Googling him several times but he doesn’t come up. A bit like you, really. Which made me think maybe you’re in the same line of work.’
‘Have you really been Googling me over the years?’ Nick asked.
‘No,’ I replied honestly. ‘I haven’t.’ His look of disappointment was quite satisfying. ‘Have you looked me up? Have you been stalking me, Nick Quinlan?’
His denial came far too quickly. ‘No, I haven’t. Well, I might have checked once or twice, you know, just to make sure you were okay. And obviously, recently, when I bumped into you here.’
‘So, what have you discovered about me on your searches?’ I asked, enjoying holding the upper hand once again.
‘That you work as Pearl’s PA, that you edit books for a living. That you don’t appear to have any significant others, and until very recently you and Pearl were still living at number five Beech Mews, Battersea.’
‘You make it sound very boring,’ I told him.
‘Sometimes boring is good,’ Nick replied, his face serious again. ‘Sometimes boring brings security, and home comforts, stability.’
‘Things you’ve lacked in your line of work?’ I asked.
‘Yes,’ he reflected, ‘if I’m honest, things I’ve lacked, and craved. And missed.’
‘Did you miss me?’ I asked in a quiet voice.
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I did.’
We fell into silence. What could I say? I could retort that I’d missed Nick like a hole in the head, but I hadn’t. I’d missed him so much I thought I would never recover, that I’d never appreciate sunshine and birdsong ever again, that in the days following our non-wedding I’d wanted to crawl under the duvet and never re-emerge, a chrysalis in a permanent cocoon, locked in stasis.
We were on the verge of bridging a major chasm. Nick’s remorse was unmistakeable. The implications of his words, his demeanour, almost wiped out the last fifteen years of pain. We sat there in a state of mutual confusion and contemplation. Where did we go from here?
His phone vibrated. I knew he would check it. He had to. It was his job.
‘I’m sorry, Becs,’ he sighed, ‘I’ve got to go. Do you want a lift home? You don’t look dressed for traipsing through the Kerridge mudflats at this time of night. I’ve got my car. I knew I might have to dash off.’
‘Thanks, yes please.’ I gathered up my bag and coat. There was so much I wanted to say, but I needed time to think. It was easier to stick to the present than dwell on the past. ‘About that guy I asked you to look up? Would you do it for me? His name’s Tristram Markham.’
‘Sure. Tristram Markham. I’ll see what I can find out’
‘Do you want to write it down? So you don’t forget?’
‘No,’ he said, tapping the side of his head. ‘It’s logged up here. I’ll remember it.’
He dropped me off at the gates of Rivermede with a tender peck on the cheek.
‘See you around, Becs.’
‘Thanks, Nick.’
‘It’s Alex,’ he reminded me.
Chapter Twenty
I spent most of the night restlessly tossing and turning in bed, repeating our conversation in my head. Something had definitely shifted between us.
On Sunday morning, I joined Pearl and Jack for coffee in the drawing room. The previous evening, I had promised to give Pearl a full run-down of the party. Jack seemed particularly bubbly, while Pearl couldn’t wait to hear the details of Max’s mansion. It was no surprise to hear that Freddy had failed to come home.
I was sorry to disappoint her. ‘I changed my mind. I didn’t stay.’
‘What do you mean, you changed your mind and didn’t stay? But you were all dressed up to the nines. You didn’t come back here until eleven. Where did you get to?’
She had obviously been watching out for me. It seemed keeping secrets – at least, my secrets – was going to be impossible in Kerridge.
‘I dropped Freddy off, stayed for half an hour to be polite, and then went to this little pub. I bumped into someone I know so we just stayed chatting.’
‘Someone you know?’ Pearl was like a hawk, spotting her prey. ‘Was it Alex, Alex from the pub quiz?’
‘No.’ It was so much easier to lie. ‘It was someone I met when I went out walking the other day. He was there having a pint and we just got chatting and—’
‘He?’ She swooped in for the kill.
‘He was there with his girlfriend.’
‘Never mind that,’ Jack interrupted. ‘Let’s see what the postman’s brought, shall we?’
I’d heard the front doorbell clang but, as was the custom at Rivermede, with Nev and Heather both on the premises, neither Pearl or Jack had made any attempt to answer it. Jack wheeled himself over to Pearl’s side. ‘I think we might be in for a little surprise, Pearl darling,’ he said.
‘A surprise?’ Pearl cooed. ‘But it’s Sunday. There is no post on a Sunday! Oh Jack, I knew you’d been up to something…’
There was a kerfuffle out in the hallway. Nev apparated into the drawing room with his familiar dry cough.
‘Sorry to intrude, sir, madam,’ he said, ‘but there’s somebody—’
‘Just bring it in,’ Jack snapped.
‘Uh no, sir, it’s not exactly what you were expecting.’
‘Oh?’ Jack frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
‘What’s going on?’ Pearl looked from one of them to the other. ‘What were you two expecting?’
‘Not this.’ Nev’s face was inscrutable. ‘It’s someone asking for your son, madam.’
‘Freddy?’
I could make out a waif-like figure loitering behind Nev. She had a rucksack on her back and something strapped to her chest; something that was mewling like a kitten.
The girl looked about fifteen. A horrid realisation dawned. I leapt to my feet. ‘Ruby?’
Nev stepped aside to allow Ruby to enter the room. Pearl’s face fell. ‘What’s that?’ She pointed to the bundle draped across Ruby’s body. ‘Is it a puppy? Oh Jack, you did listen when I said I wanted…’
I exchanged glances with Ruby, just to confirm my suspicions. ‘A puppy? I don’t think so. It’s a baby. Freddy’s baby.’
‘She’s called Ivy,’ Ruby said with a nod, peeling back some of the swaddling so that we all could glimpse the baby’s head.
Now Pearl was on her feet. ‘You’re saying this is Freddy’s baby?’
Ruby nodded. ‘Yes. We’re at uni together.’
‘Come and sit down,’ I said, realising somebody had to take charge of the situation. Pearl looked as if she were about to faint, and Jack and Nev were equally as bemused. ‘Did you come here on your own or is somebody with you?’ I asked, helping to lift the rucksack from her back. She sank down onto the sofa gratefully.
‘No. I caught the train to Southampton and then got a taxi.’
‘You look exhausted. Would you like tea, coffee?’
‘Just water would be fine, thank you.’
Nev was dismissed to fetch water. Pearl sat opposite us in an armchair.
‘Of course you’ve come to the right place,’ I assured her. ‘He’s just not here, right now.’
I could hardly tell the poor girl that Freddy was probably snoozing off a very large hangover at the home of the local gangster, and for all I knew nuzzling up beside a nubile newly eighteen-year-old.
‘How old is Ivy?’ I asked, as Ruby revealed more of the baby.
‘Just two weeks. Would you like to hold her?’
‘Oh, I’d love to.’
I’d always had a thing about babies, more so as I’d got older and the chance of having any of my own grew increasingly remote. Friends knew I was a sucker for babysitting duties, and I was godmother to two children, upon whom I lavished great affection, even though I didn’t see them that often. Their mother, Megan, was an old colleague from my early publishing days who had moved with her husband to the US. Maternal feelings were hard to crush.
‘So you must be Becca?’ Ruby said, placing my niece into my arms. Ivy’s face wrinkled, her eyes screwed tight shut. I held her close and stroked her downy head, soaking up the smell of her newness.
‘Yes. It’s a shame we haven’t met before,’ I said. ‘I take it Freddy does know about Ivy? I mean, he told me you were pregnant, but he hasn’t mentioned the birth.’
‘I sent him a Snapchat.’
I’d never considered myself old-fashioned, but sending a Snapchat to inform a man he’d just become a father seemed to be taking communication levels to an all-time low. Was this the reason Freddy seemed hell bent on committing hari-kari with Kimmi van der Plaast? Was he upset at being treated so coldly? Did he feel excluded? ‘And did he reply?’ I asked.
‘We’re not together any more, so I don’t expect anything from him,’ Ruby said, without answering my question.
‘No, but Freddy has a responsibility,’ I pointed out. ‘Look, he’s come down here and is working seven days a week to provide for you and the baby.’ It wasn’t strictly true; Freddy seemed to be spending far too much of his time enjoying himself.
‘I told him he didn’t have to.’
‘Perhaps he wanted to?’ I suggested.
‘I’ve always brought my boy up to accept his responsibilities,’ Pearl interjected. Without leaving her seat, she strained her neck to get a closer look at baby Ivy.
I held her out. ‘Want a cuddle?’
‘Doesn’t look much like Freddy,’ Pearl smarted. ‘Have you done a paternity test?’
Ruby’s shoulders sagged. ‘Freddy is definitely Ivy’s father.’ She lowered her voice to little more than a whisper. ‘I haven’t slept with anybody else.’
‘So, how are you planning to look after Ivy?’ I asked, worried by Ruby’s seeming immaturity. It seemed incredibly naïve to dismiss Freddy’s offer of financial help. ‘Are your parents supportive?’
Ruby shrugged. ‘My parents are divorced.’
‘Well I’m divorced, but that doesn’t mean I don’t support my son,’ Pearl said. ‘What sort of excuse is that?’ She reached out for Ivy. ‘Let me have a look at this grandchild properly, eh? I suppose on closer inspection I can see a bit of Freddy in that nose.’ Her face softened. ‘What do you think, Jack?’
Before Jack could answer, the doorbell rang again.
‘Goodness me, what a morning,’ Pearl exclaimed. ‘Who’s that now?’
‘Ah, perhaps this is the post,’ Jack said. He wheeled himself across to the doorway to greet Nev, who re-entered the room carrying a large picnic hamper.
‘Delivery for you, madam,’ he said, holding the hamper out to Pearl.
‘Well, I can’t take it, can I?’ Pearl said. ‘I’m holding the baby. Let Becca open it. Who would send us a picnic hamper? Is it an early wedding present?’
‘I think you should open it, dear,’ Jack said, indicating for me to relieve Pearl of the baby. ‘Although I think my gift might have been a little overshadowed.’
I happily removed Ivy from Pearl’s arms and sat back down on the sofa next to Ruby. Neville placed the hamper on the floor at Pearl’s feet.
‘Well?’ Jack gave her a nudge. ‘Go on.’
Pearl flipped open the lid. There was a little yelp of excitement – from Pearl and from the wriggling white ball of fluff she lifted up onto her lap. ‘Oh Jack, you have bought me a puppy,’ she chuckled. ‘So, is this what you and Nev have been plotting? All those secret trips out?’
‘Yes.’ Jack smiled indulgently. ‘You’ve been on about nothing else since you arrived at Rivermede. Meet Princess Pippadee of Pomerania. They call her Pippa for short.’
‘Princess Pippadee.’ Pearl picked the puppy up to her face and gave it a kiss. ‘Oh my, how thrilling. I’ve always wanted a puppy.’
I stared at my mother in amazement. Was this really the same woman who had refused to let Freddy and I keep so much as a goldfish? Pets were too much hard work, she always said, although I suppose she now had Heather and Nev to do the pooper-scooping and the wet morning walks, it wasn’t such hard work after all.
I handed Ivy back to Ruby. ‘I’d best go and fetch Freddy,’ I announced. ‘I’ll be about half an hour. You are planning on staying, I take it?’ Ruby seemed to be travelling extremely light for someone with a baby.
She nodded. ‘Yes, sure. I want to see Fred.’
Chapter Twenty-One
A world that already seemed surreal became more so with every minute. I headed out to my car in something of a daze, hurriedly texting Freddy to warn him I was coming to pick him up, although not saying why. I stressed the urgency with YOU NEED TO COME HOME NOW.
He didn’t reply, but when I arrived at the van der Plaast mansion, the gates were already open and Freddy was loitering on the driveway in front of the house. I leaned across to open the car door.
‘What’s the rush?’ he asked, looking like death warmed up.
‘Hop in, you’ll see.’
‘Max says you should come in for coffee. Why did you leave so early? Max missed you.’
‘That I highly doubt,’ I replied. ‘Just get in the car, Fred.’
Freddy reeked of an unhealthy concoction of stale sweat, alcohol, and marijuana. There was no way he could see Ruby like this. We drove home in silence. I could sense Freddy tensing beside me in the passenger seat. I pulled up outside the stable block and tossed him the keys.
‘Go up and have a shower while I fetch some clean clothes from your room.’
‘What’s going on?’
‘Don’t argue with me, just do it.’
I slipped into the house through the kitchen door and crept up to Freddy’s den on the second floor. His room was the usual mess: clothes, magazines, chargers and leads strewn everywhere; a week’s worth of work-wear overflowing from the laundry basket. I rummaged through his drawers until I uncovered clean underwear and a T-shirt. I found a pair of black jeans in the wardrobe – not exactly clean, but certainly less pungent than the ones he had on.
‘No time to dry your hair,’ I said, glad to see Freddy emerging from the shower in record time. He must have sensed the urgency.
‘You are starting to worry me, Becca,’ he said, grabbing the clean clothes but regarding my choices somewhat distastefully.
‘So you should be worried,’ I said trying to contain my anger, which wasn’t so much anger as exasperation. Surely Fred could have told me he’d received a message from Ruby about the baby? I’d supported him through all this – didn’t he trust me? And then to turn up like this, stinking of sex, drugs, and rock'’n’roll, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. ‘Go on, you’re decent now. You’ve got a visitor in the drawing room.’
‘What?’ Then he looked really worried. ‘Who?’
‘Just go, Freddy.’
I’d had enough. There was no right or wrong way of handling his situation. It was unique, but it was his situation not mine. Between us, Pearl and I had wrapped Freddy up in cotton wool, protected him, carried him
through childhood and into his teens. His faithful back-up team. Time to grow up Freddy. He hesitated at the doorway and I could almost see the words on his lips, asking me to go with him into the lion’s den. I’m not your mother, I wanted to scream. The telepathy worked. He gave me a grimace and hurried down the steps.
Fifteen minutes later, when I hadn’t actually moved from the sofa apart from to make myself a cup of tea, Pearl was on the doorstep.
‘Can I come in?’ she asked, even though she had already opened the door. She clutched Princess Pippadee to her chest.
‘How did it go?’ I asked.
For once, Pearl appeared to have shown remarkable tact. ‘I left them to it.’ She said. ‘He looked pretty shocked and so awkward when she handed him the baby, as if he didn’t know which end was which.’
‘I’m sure he’ll quickly learn,’ I pointed out. ‘Would you like tea?’
‘Yes please, darling. You make such a better cup than Heather.’ Pearl sat down while I got up.
Princess Pippadee was released to explore the flat.
‘So, the dog came as a complete surprise, too?’ I asked from the kitchenette.
‘I told you Jack had been behaving pretty suspiciously, and this is what it was all about,’ Pearl said. ‘He and Nev had been out looking for the perfect puppy.’
‘But you don’t even like dogs.’ It was on the tip of my tongue to remind her about the whole no-pets-over-my-dead-body arguments Freddy and I had had on numerous occasions in the past.
‘How could I not like Pippa?’ Pearl cooed like a pigeon, scooping the pooch back up and onto her lap. ‘She’s adorable.’
‘I take it she’s fully house-trained, and vaccinated, with a pedigree certificate?’
‘Oh yes, came with everything,’ Pearl assured me. ‘Basket, lead, harness. She’s a full Pomeranian. A little dog like this won’t be any trouble.’
At least Jack had had the good sense to choose a breed of dog that wouldn’t require a great deal of exercise. A short walk down to the river and back would probably be more than enough to tire Princess Pippa, and my mother, out.